No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
