Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
