So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
