Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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