so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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