hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
