Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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