her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
