her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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