She is in my trunk
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
