I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
