yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
...so i touched it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
