I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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