Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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