so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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