Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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