Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
