don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think my moral compass just broke
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
