If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
