god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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