I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
