be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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