This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sarcasm needs its own font
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
