Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
