people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
