At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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