Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am midnight drunk by noon
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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