i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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