you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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