totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
