Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i dont even know how to be here
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
