I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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