it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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