Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
