she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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