Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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