I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
