Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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