um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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