What tipped you off? The sombrero?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
