Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
