So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
