After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
accomplished twins. life is a go
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
