We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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