addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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