we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
They have beer where we have blood.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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