I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
