all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
