Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
