we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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