Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

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(571): View more from Virginia

the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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(714): View more from California

Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!

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(303): View more from Colorado

We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.

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