Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
