Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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