she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
this hospital has no fireball
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
