half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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