Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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