Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize